Will I Go Crazy?

 
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Answers for Family Members, Caregivers, and Professionals

Question: What is respect? When you say that you want our respect, what are you asking for?  

Answer: My friends helped me answer this question. Warren says, “Respect means being accepted by others just the way you are.”  

Marty C says, “Respect is looking up to someone. We all have the same rights, so we all should look up to each other. It’s easy for me to respect a professional, but it’s hard to respect somebody with less expertise than I have. You are respecting me when you listen to me with compassion, are not afraid to admit your mistakes to me, and give me the time I need.”  

He adds, ”During therapy, you are not the center; I am. Be open to my values too. Be flexible rather than imposing arbitrary rules and standards on me.”  

I believe that true respect is blind. It does not depend on whether its object has a Ph.D. or has bipolar disorder, is a corporate owner or is unemployed. All human beings deserve an equal measure of respect.  

The group agrees with this. Since respect is based on human rights, it should be universal. We can’t list all the actions we see as signs of respect, but that’s OK. If you know deep in your heart that everybody deserves the same level of respect, it will be easy for you to treat us respectfully.  

Janna says, “You exist. Before I decide whether I love, hate, admire, agree, pity, or just pass you by in life, I must acknowledge that you exist. I may disagree with, or even be offended by, your ideas, but if I respect you, I’ll know that there was some cause within you for it. Not only are you entitled to be and think for yourself, you may also touch something in me. I pass you on the street; I pass you in life. As we say hello, an unheard voice shouts:  

“And thank you.”

Question: How can mental-health professionals convey to clients that they are trustworthy?  

Answer: Just be trustworthy! Be honest with your clients. Get to know your clients. Treat your clients like the adults they are. Be relaxed and funny, and never every give your clients the impression that you are laughing at them. And never violate their confidentiality.  

I don’t think that trust is an all-or-nothing thing. I believe that it builds over time, usually very slowly. It is based on understanding, which is based on open, honest communication. The more we communicate with each other, the more we can trust each other, and this applies to client/therapist relationships as well.

Telling a client, on the first visit, “You can trust me,” is likely to backfire. In fact, it may never be a good idea to say, “You can trust me.” Deliberately attempting to convey trustworthiness may reduce spontaneity, and consumers, on average, read body language well enough to detect low spontaneity. They may suspect you of dishonesty.  

So don’t try to convey trustworthiness. Be trustworthy, and the trust will come. As one consumer says, “You’ve got to work really hard to earn my trust.”

Question: What is it like to experience a manic episode?

Answer: The most important thing we want you to know is that we think and feel just the same as you do. Our minds are not weird or scary. Being manic is not about thinking and feeling differently; it’s about thinking and feeling for too long. When we are manic, we are unable to let go of our anger or worries as quickly as you can. When manic, we may be unable to drift off to sleep or to stay asleep all night. Our frightened — not frightening — thoughts repeat themselves over and over in our minds, and all we can do about it is take antimanics and wait.

It may come as a surprise to some that to be manic is to be frightened. Manics feel angry, but their anger, like their depressive hopelessness, is based on fear. Prick their loud, self-righteous defenses and — surprise! — you will find insecure children hiding beneath. Prick their grandiose protestations and you will discover people who fear — no, are quite sure — that they are totally worthless.

No one is able to really describe a manic episode. Most of the time, you don’t know you had one until it’s over. You can only say that, while manic, you are still intelligent, loving human beings.

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